This transcript was generated from the episode audio and may contain minor errors.
[Music]
Let's get real today, the listener question is, what do I do if my partner doesn't believe in my business? Now this is a fairly common situation. One partner is energized by possibility, the other is like, just not into this, don't like this idea, worried about the expense, worried about something else, you know, whatever it is, like we all have these like ingrained beliefs and sometimes we respond to change as a threat. So neither partner is necessarily wrong, they're just using different scorecards basically. And let's consider what this listener really wants, like they're looking for safety, trust and respect.
And also they have this idea to do a side hustle and they would like to do it without causing friction and conflict with their partner if possible. I'm not sure I can solve all of these things in a short action packed episode, but I've seen it often enough that I think I can give a couple helpful points. Maybe this will be helpful for somebody else out there as well, stay tuned for the detailed question from Morgan and my answer. [Music]
Hi Chris, I'm Morgan, a long time listener. I started a side business last fall, custom gift boxes for corporate clients and I love it.
The trouble is my boyfriend who I live with isn't on board. I've put real time into it plus a few thousand dollars for supplies and a small website. And so far the profit is minimal. He's worried I'm chasing a hobby that drains my savings and weekends. I don't want this to become a constant fight, but I also don't want to quit before it has a chance.
How do you navigate a skeptical partner? Are there practical ways to set expectations without giving up? [Music]
All right, well, let's get into some relationship counseling, side hustle school style. Of course, I'm gonna focus on my expertise, not on actual relationship or marriage counseling. But I do think when people are threatened or when they feel a little bit scared of some change, I think we often, we all do this.
We tend to kind of go back to like a fight or flight mechanism or we just resist something new. I think that's just kind of normal. So start with the relationship, not the plan, maybe a little non defensive script that's like, hey, I want us to be okay. You know, like I'm excited about this business. I don't want us to lose trust over it.
What would help you feel safe? Like, well, I test it. And if the other party is also emotionally mature, then hopefully you can have an emotionally mature conversation about it. Sometimes the fear, it's not always like losing money. The fear is time erosion in the sense of like, oh, I don't get enough time with you.
And now here's this new thing that's gonna take more time. So naming the fear out loud tends to reduce its power. And then maybe you also agree on some non-negotiables, like, oh, okay, if you're worried about time, well, let's make sure that we have like two clear nights every week, you know, that have no business tasks, no work during family events or something, you know, whatever you need to do in your situation. And then you can also like propose like a 60 to 90 day trial. Like, can I just try this out?
And will you support me for a couple of months? And then let's reevaluate. We can regroup. We can talk about how it's going and how it's been for you. Maybe you'll see that it actually wasn't a burden.
Maybe you'll see it was really good for me, or maybe it won't work out, or I learned to do something different and then I can also regroup or come back. So I think just creating this safety valve for trial and error, a safety valve for mistakes, so that like a small thing doesn't become a huge fight or, you know, just this great source of conflict. I think I've seen that be helpful a bunch of times. Always good to lead with empathy, like acknowledge the fear, protect the relationship. And I also think like you don't need your spouse or your partner to share your enthusiasm on day one.
Sometimes it takes them a little while to come along. So, you know, if you don't have it right away, it may still come later. Trust grows when your actions make both of you feel safer. That's my take on that, of course, I hope it's helpful. Listeners, if you have a question or an experience, something to share, sidehustleschool.com.
All of the notes pages for all of the episodes are there as well. Sign up for our weekly newsletter. And of course, continue to listen always free wherever you get your shows. Hope you're doing okay out there. Remember to take care of yourself.
My name is Chris Guillebeau, this is Side Hustle School. [Music]
- From the Onward Project.
