London Clerk Hires Ghosts to Visit Boss, Earns Passive Income

This transcript was generated from the episode audio and may contain minor errors.

'Twas the night before cashmas went all through the land. We listened to podcasts, our tablets at hand. The parents were dreaming of all the ways to go from idea to income in just 27 days. Hello my friends, that is just a brief selection of last year's epic ten-verse stanza of how grandma saved Christmas with her Venmo account. Check out last year's Christmas Eve episode number 358 if you'd like to hear the full masterpiece.

And also the next day episode 359 also featured the special story of a bearded man from Finland who cashes in on holiday cheer. Well that's all fine and well but you might say, "Well Chris, what are we doing for this Christmas?" Listen, fear not, it is a new year, new special episode. Today I'll tell you all about a very early crowdfunding campaign that took place out of desperate need. In this story, a London clerk hires three ghosts to scare his employer into paying him more money. How does it turn out, dun dun dun?

Well stay tuned and you'll hear in about 30 seconds. Bob Cratchit, a records clerk from East London, was in trouble. He spent his days, every single day, toiling away for an ungrateful employer. Not only was his work tedious and unfulfilling, he wasn't getting anywhere. All he had to look forward to was the morning bowl of porridge, with extra raisins, that he picked up from Preta Manje on his way into work.

Worst of all, his son Tim was seriously ill. In these early days before Britain's National Health Service was created, Bob needed funds to care for him. According to our sources, Mr. Cratchit worked for 15 shillings a week at the rate of three pence, also known as "thruppence," an hour. And according to Wikipedia, in terms of modern day purchasing power, this would be approximately 63 pounds, or about 94 US dollars per week.

His boss Ebenezer was a miser and couldn't be counted on to lift a finger. In fact, Bob had asked Ebenezer for help, only to be rebuffed. "Get back to work," said the boss. "Be grateful you even have a job." There was no way around it. Bob needed a side hustle.

To find the solution, he looked within himself, opening up a consultancy he called Cratchit Co. He also leaned on three friends for help. As part of a detailed delegation strategy, or was it early outsourcing, he would send these friends to visit Ebenezer late at night in an attempt to scare him into paying up. Just maybe Ebenezer would learn a moral lesson. But even if not, perhaps he'd still cop up the coffers.

That was the goal. So, Bob sent the first friend, C.P., to show him how things used to be. Ebenezer himself had started his business long ago as a side hustle, and his employer at the time was supportive. He let him use the office printer to make flyers. Ebenezer had forgotten all about that.

Then Bob sent the second friend, who also had the same initials. It's a little confusing, but we'll call him C.P., too. And this friend, C.P., too, went to conduct a performance review. He determined that Ebenezer had lost touch with his roots. He had forgotten all about what it was like to lack resources and to struggle.

Sure, his bottom line looked good, but his social skills and empathy sucked. Finally, Bob went for the kill, sending his third friend, C. Future, to show his boss how miserable he would be if he didn't change direction. His miserly ways failed to inspire any brand loyalty, and his employees would soon go on strike or simply abandon him. This gaslighting strategy was highly effective.

"There's something wrong with you," C. Future told him. "You have no concern for others. If you only cared for your employees, they'd be more loyal and more effective." "There's something wrong with you, too," Ebenezer replied. "You're a ghost." But he'd already begun to feel Bob's pain.

When he awoke from the third visitation, Ebenezer decided it was time to get drastic. He pulled out all the stops, from Facebook ads to appearing on podcasts. He offered a Black Friday sale on the Monday before Christmas. He conducted a webinar and didn't sell anything at the end. He opened his first pop-up shop, offering payday loans with no interest and a free toaster with every application.

Meanwhile, Bob did what consultants do best. He sent Ebenezer a bill. That bill was for a lot of money, more than he needed to cover his son's medical costs. And thinking about the approaching holiday, he also itemized an expense for a large turkey. When the holiday arrived, Bob was thankful.

He looked at the additional money in his bank account and the free turkey on his table. If he hadn't taken action and started Cratchit Co., he would have continued to live on $94 a week. But he did take action, and now he was unstoppable. One success tends to lead to another. Next, Bob thought he'd write an ebook about his experience.

He imagined himself as a motivational speaker, traveling from town to town and turning stock clerks into consultants. Or maybe he'd just start a podcast. All right, what can we learn from this story? Well, first, if you're a morning porridge is the most exciting thing in your life, you need to make some changes. Second, don't wait on your boss to change.

Create those changes yourself. And third, outsource however you can, even if it includes hiring your friends to dress up as ghosts. Hey, whatever it takes, you've got to do something for yourself these days. This has been episode 725 of Side Hustle School. I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas.

And a shout-out as well to those who observe holidays other than Christmas. Wherever you are and whatever you're up to, remember to take care of yourself and think of others as well. Ho, ho, ho. It's Chris Guillebeau for Side Hustle School.